Thursday, February 26, 2009

I suffer from lethologica...or why one hundred gazillion fire ants can't be wrong

In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.
See what a man values?

The ZIP in “ZIP code” means Zoning Improvement Plan.
NEVER EVER EVER in my wildest dreams did I wonder what it stood for!

It’s estimated that at any one time around 0.7% of the world’s population is drunk.
Whoo Hoo! Put the lime in the coconut…

Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Note to self: stick to gloss.

Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That’s more than sharks.
That must be for the ones who don’t put the lime in there

The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
Let Hubbs come at me with ANYTHING! Let’s see what he gets.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
Interesting. I’m gonna try this one.

Jim Henson first coined the word “Muppet”. It is a combination of “marionette” and “puppet.”
Too cool- I think I want to name my next cat Muppet

The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
I have this problem all of the time.

People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide.
DO.NOT.DO.IT…that’s just gross!!!

Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly sets than for the U.S. Treasury.
Speaking of Monopoly…have you ever wondered why mono=one and poly=many, so they named the game One-Many???

Every year 4 people in the UK die putting their trousers on.
That’s why the Scottish wear kilts

Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing.
I had this theory about my nose getting bigger and everyone told me I was crazy. Mmmm---hmmmm I was right!

If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human’s neck.
She’d look like a freak! Image the gorgeous Heidi Klum in Barbie proportions next to a doll. She’d look like a troll.

Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations (implemented on July 16, 1969) makes it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles.
Dang! I wanted to go party with ET next Friday

The Pentagon in Arlington Virginia has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
I’ll have to ask the boss about this-he worked there for a while.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
Yet again, I told Justin about the purple the other day. He thinks I’m crazy.

$283,200 is the absolute highest amount of money you can win on Jeopardy.
I wouldn’t mind an extra quarter million and change lying around.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
Especially at the Fire Ant Festival Street Dance! Whoo-hoo!

The average chocolate bar has 8 insects’ legs melted into it.
ICK! Reason enough for me to start a diet.

There are a million ants for every person on Earth.
One hundred gazillion fire ants can’t be wrong

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.
Suzi- you’re in trouble.

A “quidnunc” is a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip.
Hey-that’s my old buddy Perez Hilton!

Judy Scheindlin (”Judge Judy”) has a $25,000,000 salary, while Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg has a $190,100 salary.
Yeah and how many pro ball players are making 10 times more than the PRESIDENT?!?! That’s just public service for you.

The name for Oz in the Wizard of Oz was thought up when the creator Frank Baum looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z.
I never knew this. TWOO is my favorite movie of all time.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
The average Sarah (me)=2.5 seconds

Around 2,000 left-handed people die annually due to improper use of equipment designed only for right handed people.
Darn Suzi---they have it out for you!

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